Hudson Hotel
356 West 58th Street
212/554-6000
Private Park Website
THE BARON'S BABBLE: Listen, dear readers, and the Baron shall confide in you... you shall hear a terrifying tale of his greatest defeat. Some nobility are the type to laze and lounge about their ancestral redoubts, but not the Baron. No, The Von Drinkensteins are men of action! So, on a recent sunny afternoon, the other Counts and Countesses of BWAV were otherwise occupied, and the Baron set out all alone for the treacherous journey to Columbus Circle in hopes of basking in the sun of the Hudson's terrace. Sure, two martinis would cost close to forty dollars, but the door fee at a strip club is $30, and the waitresses are wearing less at the Hudson. Plus, the Baron is known to enjoy ginormous garden tools designed by Phillipe Starck.
Alas, the Hudson was more like Waterloo!
The doors to the terrace were all very locked, and where expense accounts once ran rampant, an army of masons scurried about a terrace-under-construction with the ferocity of manservants in the Baron's Hamburg Castle. Zis' is not the time or place for Hamburg Helpers. (Zey do not even have ze immigration papers!) Zis is the place for ze models and ze martinis!
Seriously, the Hudson was created by Ian Schrager, a man who cared about accommodating his guests so much that he pumped drugs through the air conditioning system at Studio 54... Now, he's gone and they can't even open a terrace in time for spring? Weak!
MISSION
PRIVATE PARK AT THE HUDSON HOTEL
SUTTON PLACE
1015 Second Avenue
(between 53rd & 54th Streets)
212/207-3777
Sutton Place Website
AL'S REVIEW: When I saw the pictures on their website, I couldn't believe it was the same bar! Every summer, I seem to venture here at least once - with low expectations. The crowd consist of B & T folk who line up and wait to get access to the often over-packed roof terrace that overlooks Second Avenue. Sandwiched between two buildings, the view only offers a chance to look into the neighbor's apartment across the way and down below on the traffic piling up due to nearby construction sites. Definitely come here Thursday through Saturday if you can't find your summer hookup on the Jersey shore!
THE BARON'S BABBLING: The Baron suspects that "douchebag" is the new black; apparently, being a douchebag, that is to say popping your collar, wearing too much Drakar Noir, and using enough mousse (yes, mousse, not product) to factor into the debate on national petroleum dependence is in! Well, at least at Sutton Place. If your rent on York Ave or in Staten Island is low enough to afford a night on the town, head to Sutton Place. Here you will find others interested in talking loudly about sports, but paying no mind to the actual game (which is on countless screens, but oddly unwatchable.) At this drinkery, women seem to find your public demands for a ZJ charming! Wait, there's more, at this Shangrai-La, the music will be so loud, that no one will hear you... ergo, the douchebag dialect might seem intellectual. Yes, truly an oasis, this Sutton Place is! However, for the rest of, do not assume that SP's four bars mean one will be redeeming; if you want to play the odds, hit the Playwright.
Beware.... Beware!
(Steen, Steen!)